This page is intended as an introduction to any new readers. This blog is a practice blog of sorts so I’m always trying to do new things or write in different styles. With the benefit of a few months hindsight, it’s clear that some of these experiments worked better than others.
For a shorter version, click here.
That’s why I’ve put together this list of the ones that I think worked together with some posts that I feel had potential to be better than they were. I’ve included some thoughts on where I went wrong and how certain pieces could be improved as well.
If you have any thoughts I’d love to hear them, this blog is a learning experience for me and any feedback would be appreciated.
These posts were written over a period of a few years, so the writing style and formatting can change quite a bit between posts.
This list was updated in June 2017.
Categories: Film Related Features, Games Related Features, Game Reviews, Stuff That Is Even More Self Centered And Narcissistic Than Usual, The Really Weird Stuff, Science Related Articles.
Film related features:
Darth Vader Is No Model Of Perseverance, Palpatine Is The Man. This might be my favourite post, even though the subject matter (a 9gag post that has probably been completely forgotten by now) and overall message are a tad petty and the breakdown of Vader’s father son talk with Luke at the end of Empire arguably goes on too long. There are the beginnings of a reasonable article about how people respond to anything that reminds them of Stars Wars regardless of quality or whether the content even makes sense buried in there somewhere but you’d have to look very carefully.
Some of my favourite lines
After Vader has told Luke that he is his father and Luke has chosen to let go of the railing and is falling likely to his death: While it is difficult to tell how he feels because of the helmet, Vader’s body language suggests he’s mildly disappointed with this turn of events as you and I would be if we nearly but didn’t stop a glass rolling off a table and smashing. And the glass was empty.
That’s the thing about the Galactic Empire, it’s not what you know, it’s whether or not you’re the chosen one of an ancient religion. Sit beside one old man at a weird opera and you’ve a job for life.
Saying Vader conquered the galaxy is akin to saying saying… “Judas Iscariot used his entrepreneurial nous to get himself thirty pieces of silver, so you get off your ass”
Walken Into Darkness. In which I pitch a Neeson-esque career change for Christopher Walken and won’t stop mentioning Birdman for some reason.
You Won’t Believe (Literally) This Amazing Star Wars Fan Theory: I think the problem here is that the deliberately ridiculous theory is too far fetched. For the joke to work you need some trace of a convincing argument to build the nonsense around otherwise much of the article is wasted trying to weave a web of contrived logic and arguments, as has happened here.
Games related features:
Dr Dark Samus’ Phabulous Phazon Phormula This is effectively my audition for the job of writing the jokes that appear on the backpage of games magazines. Click here for a larger version of the main image.
This sincere (surprising right?) look back at the great year for games that was 2015.
Nintendo Switch Headline Forecast please hire me to write your strapline puns
What I’ve Been Playing (Spring 2016): I’m quite pleased with how this one turned out. The section on The Phantom Pain is less than half the size of the full review (which I’m still quite pleased with) and arguably better for it. Not to pat myself on the back, which is difficult considering that’s the whole point of this list, but I think I made some good points about The Witness too and the appeal of puzzles where most of the work is done in your mind.
Middle Earth: Shadow Of Mordor Review: Gosh, I’d forgotten how long this thing is! The story embedded in the review (which started as an attempt at this style before I got cold feet and wrote most of it as a standard review) is a bit indulgent but I think it conveys what I liked about the game pretty well and it’s somewhat entertaining. Reading over it now it strikes me that the introduction probably should have given an outline for what would be discussed in the review — especially given that the whole thing is so long. Furthermore, I probably should have structured it in such a way so that the criticisms were more spread out, as it is they’re mostly clustered together at an end, the resulting negative vibe makes the final few paragraphs a bit of a slog to read.
Star Fox 64 3D/Kid Icarus Uprising Review: This is really just a series of jokes hung on the skeleton of a review, which was the kind of thing I was aiming for at the time. Looking at some of the reviews from my late Blogspot early WordPress period I wonder why I didn’t stick with that style…
Professor Layton And The Miracle Mask Review: Reading over it, this one starts strong and I feel the points are well argued. Unfortunately any kind sort of sense of flow breaks down in the final three paragraphs, I had some points I wanted to make but they don’t link together particularly well.
Steam World Dig Review: There are some definite faults here. I think I was a little too eager to show off that I had done some research prior to writing the review and the attempts at humour feel like interruptions more than anything else.
Contact Review: I’m including this review because I think there are some good points in it, the trouble is that those points are effectively lost in a sea of other points, which while true, aren’t exactly vital and that clearly ought to have been left out in the interest of readability. The key points (that the set up is only superficially “high-concept” and that the combat design and approach to skills and health are flawed) should have taken up almost the entirety of the review.
Stuff That Is Even More Self Centered And Narcissistic Than Usual:
Games Journalism: Worth It?. This is an important one for me, the issue of harassment is one that I keep going back to whenever I think about finally going all in, posting under my real name and submitting articles to larger outfits.
7 Reasons Why 2016 Was A Bad Year For Eyemoustaches (But The Rest Of This Year Could Be Good). A look at all the mistakes I’ve made with this blog so far, and what I hope to learn from them.
Waaa Blogging Is Hard. I’m including this because it’s the closest thing to a mission statement that I’ve ever posted. On the other hand it is very long. If you could ignore the section where I talk about how writing informative reviews is easy that would be great, I’ve no idea where that unwarranted cockiness came from…
The Really Weird Stuff:
The End Of Biological Intelligence ~ A Neptune’s Pride Story: I’m curious what people who’ve never played Neptune’s Pride think of this.
Memory Review: The Finale: The Memory Review series as a whole was a bit of a hit and miss affair, but this last stretch is where the concept kind of started to pay off humour-wise.
Science Related Articles:
But seriously, watch this space!